Barely Myself

Chocolate, romance, sex, and my musings. Read at your own risk!

Well, first I wrote fiction exclusively. After discovering nonfiction writing in a truly signature bonehead moment, there I was: and then I rediscovered it all. I really wanted to start an adult content writing business or something similar (like a sex blog) because I had the urge to venture off down that road. I am sure that I am not the only one who started a little dirty in their reading and writing. Sure, I read novels - the first ever was The Red Badge of Courage. But all in all, I read a smutty fanfiction website, VC Andrews for various reasons, and anything hot I could get my hands on. I filled my journals with all my thoughts, including my dirty ones. I frequently and freely wrote those dreams, those desires, and those musings in my mind. In fact, my muse never stopped putting out (totally intentional, I had to) until I decided not to in my writing.

I first assumed that I was writing all these things and had an obsession because I was enamored and abstinent: I decided no sex until absolute love (and marriage I was hoping!) and when I did have sex for the first time, things seemed just way too … off. Nonfiction writing is my first love it seems, and it also seemed I lost my other love.

That, however, was probably strongly due to the fact that my only trusted friend is the one who manipulated me. Not rape per se, but let’s just say we all make mistakes and regret the things we do some time or another.

If you have ever spoken to before, chances are you have heard me mention MH. That true and absolute love this romantic desperately wanted. Right after I stopped looking. I am not only a girl with a dirty mind: I am a girl with both feet in for romance. I am definitely a hopeless romantic.

Meeting MH, I knew that he was the one. I mean THE ONE. It couldn’t be more perfect, he and I. I was actually enjoying sex then and now. I was ready to start a few adult writing businesses which are in a suspended hiatus with my partner. Yet, I learned of an intriguing new subgenre: erotic romance. Even further into the genre I found my love for paranormal erotic romance. There couldn’t be a more perfect genre for me. As I examine the two, I find that I know this is the genre for me. It shakes up the writing career I am establishing at first, but then I find it totally fits my freedom as a writer. I just write whatever the hell I want to and I keep it that way.

So, I did what I do with my passions: I feed them with books. Only nonfiction books on writing at the moment (yeah, haven’t grabbed an erotic romance lately…sheesh!) but I take my last dollar and suffer all consequences to read on my passions. What could be a truer test of passions than one’s devotion?

So no joke, as I plan my paranormal erotic romance novella with the working title “Her Angel of Music” I am unashamed to write my take on a classic, to fill in the sensual blanks, or blog about the honest truth in my passions, and I am also eating chocolate.

Sometimes, it just hits you in the head when something is right, and you have to listen to your heart. We call those epiphanies, my friends.

Readers. Friends. Never be afraid to follow your dreams. We each have individual and unique desires. Niches are not just for business success, they are for personal success as well. Follow your dreams!

Tonight, 12:01 am, I am ringing in my new year by writing! I am going to begin by starting my new novella.

The sad side of things is that my favorite holiday will be celebrated with only the pen, paper, and keyboard: MH left this morning.

I am really excited about the New Year. However, I lack my normal vim and vigor at the moment. Just missing my baby.

How will you be celebrating the new year?

Before I can write my novella, I need to get to the planning part. Off to dig into some good books, enjoy the creative trenches, and ask myself the questions to get the bottom of my story!

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you a Happy New Year!

Why do I want to write so fast? I think it stems from one of my fears. A fear I have that seems ridiculous to others but that I am painfully aware of: I am afraid that I have too much to say or do and that I will not have enough time to do all of it.My writing is no different. I am always much too hasty with writing, with reading, with projects.I know that this doesn’t serve me well. I know that to truly succeed I just need to slow down! I need to understand what I am doing and to study and reflect upon the teachings of others as well as the desires I have. I need to take each task I would like to complete and then be completely ready for it.I want to be a freelance writer 2.0, so I am going to take it slow. I am not going to write as many articles as quickly as I can. I am going to take the time to produce quality articles. I want to write eBooks and I can do that, but I need to take the time to have more experience.I desperately strive to be organized: I can do that too, if I will take the time to start with the foundation of the pyramid. I need to always clarify my mission and my goals.What I really want to do is…I really want to write nonfiction articles and eBooks and I want to write fictional erotic romances. I don’t care that they are separate and very different. They are just what I like! You have to write what you like, and that’s what I like.A brief sidebar to my desire to do it all: I am honestly eighteen years old. I don’t lie about my age, but I don’t pass that fact out either. MH tells me always that I am eighteen, that I need to calm down and just keep going after the things I want.Could that be more true? I need to breathe and just tackle my every objective.I am terribly excited about 2009, and while I know that I will accomplish so much, I am going to slow down. I will want to sit down and make the numbers list, but what it all comes down to is this:

• I will write 1kk (one million) words.
• I will keep my blog as the therapeutic retreat I intended it to be.
• I will read the Bible everyday in my daily Bible and maintain a devotional relationship with my Father.
• I will build article bases at Associated Content, eHow, and Bukisa.
• I will stay active in my chosen writing community at WriYe.
• I will maintain my relationships at Twitter and at my chosen paid writing sites (Associated Content, eHow, Bukisa).
• I will manage my household for the months before MH’s deployment.
• I will survive his deployment, grow our relationship, and stay sane living with my step monster and step thing. (And yes, that would be my step mother and step sister.)
• I will not stress out.
• I will not feel guilty about my lack of speed.

I am ready for 2009. Most of all, I am ready for slowing down.I am also ready (and I hope my readers are as well) to keep this blog to the fullest extent how I intended it to be. I will keep an online record of my musings, an open conversation of my dreams and my progress, and I will be honest with my readers.So c’mon 2009, I am slowing down (but winning the race)!

As you must be aware by now, my blog is transitioning. It hasn’t gone as quickly as it normally does because 1: I am still sick and 2: MH had the day off yesterday so I did very little of anything.

I am looking forward to the new blog. I am choosing this playful water and flower theme like I wanted when I first got this blog. I am still building all of the pages, new post categories, and so on. I am also working on the freebies/gifts for readers. I have a few ideas for that. I also am excited to have a new Twitter. I learned/broke myself in on Twitter with my first account, but now I can start fresh and Twitter the way I deem “the right way” and move on into this new category of my life and career.

I also am not setting any static goals. I am going to aim 1kk words next year. I am going to publish, publish, publish. But sometimes making goals can be too fast and actually be limiting!

I will be back soon with the site running like it should be.

I am really frustrating to my friends, often in fact. They have often commented that I change too much. I am always too willing to take a leap. Or I am too emotional. None of the such seems true to me, but I see the point.I change browsers, usernames, email addresses, programs frequently. I simply feel like I just need to change because I have to find what works  just right for me. I changed my email address. I changed my Twitter account. I will be changing again at my writing sites. I need to do just what my new identity says: put bothfeetin. And I do that. Be it fault or fallacy, I do. I don’t want to hurt the relationships I have, but I do need to be where I most comfortable, do what makes me the happiest, and be true to who I am. Because of this, and all my ponderings, I am going to focus on my residual income. I used to call it passive income, but I intend to be anything but passive. I am working on the project I have termed freelance writer 2.0. I am going to put my heart and soul into it. I hope you will come along! Tomorrow, I should qualify for a second Today.com blog, which is where I will move to as my blogging site. I may write in two, but I find myself consistently overfocusing. I will see when tomorrow rolls around or such. I really am sorry for any inconvenience, but I really hope that you will understand. I really am bothfeetin.  Jessie Ann Heekin 

As 2009 approaches, I am finally finished and ready to publish my goals! Here they are!! I am looking forward to looking back at this checklist.

• 1,282,400 words (see yesterday’s post for what those words are going to)
• Go for a short walk on every work day.
• Maintain a consistent daily devotional life.
• Read 3 articles/chapters everyday.
• Write in my personal journal daily.
• Do not fight with MH.
• Talk with parents weekly.
• Contact extended family monthly.
• Publish an ebook per quarter.
• Aim at $2,000.00 a month.
• Get regular referrals.
• Have a return client base.
• Maintain base.jwriting.info online portfolio.
• Keep up with online forums and social networking.
• Write daily for myself.
• Maintain all blogs on schedule.
• Keep up with all of my friends blogs.
• Have regular conversations with all of my friends.
• Clean the house everyday.
• Continue to become more efficient at home management.

What are your 2009 goals? Feel free to leave a link.

In 2009, for WriYe (and for 1,282,400 words) I will be writing all sorts of things. I am trying for a little bit of a lot, dipping into my favorites of each.
I will be writing:

1. 100,000 words in 4 ebooks
2. 405,600 words in 624 articles
3. 100,000 words in 2 novels
4. 65,000 words in 52 short stories
5. 1,950 words in 26 poems
6. 104,250 words in 10 blogs of which 7 are updated weekly and 3 are updated daily

I don’t feel exhausted when I look at that list, I feel absolutely empowered.

Do you try writing different things from your standby?

1,282,400 words

I set a number for 2009, largely for WriYe. WriYe is my kind of support, and I will fill you in on WriYe some other time. For now, let me discuss setting a number for my writing goal.

This number represents many projects and much productivity. I was excited to “figure” out this number because it gave me the opportunity to set a real, measurable, realistic goal and plan for 2009.

1. What projects do you want to complete in 2009?
2. How many days will you work on these projects in 2009?
3. What number of each project?
4. What average wordcount?
5. Do your multiplication and addition.
6. Share it here!

What number are you putting to 2009?

Writer + Writing Coach = Great match

Writer + Writing Coach available 24/7 = Perfect match

Today I want to take the time to tell you about Julie Isaac’s massively important and helpful membership site, WritingSpirit.com. I never thought I could afford a writing coach, but always understood the benefits: the creativity, productivity, support, endless greatness from the muse whip!!

Turns out, I can afford to have an always available writing coach, and you can too! Julie Isaac’s WritingSpirit.com is a membership site that serves as that writing coach. She provides and absolutely fantastic resource that is affordable and usable. If you need more convincing of the absolute inspiration and helpful nature of WritingSpirit, read the “tweets” of Twitter.com/WritingSpirit.

What helps you to stay creative, productive, and inspired no matter what?

When it comes to writing community and finding other writers for support, some are for and some are against. I am of the persusasion that “it depends”. Rather than being happily ambiguous, I am going to shed a little light on my opinion of writing community.

* Every writer can do with a little support.Be it your mom or your writing group or anyone who will listen, you need some support, some praise, and some motivation as writer.

* There is no “one size fits all” for writing community and support.Not every venue is for every writer. What is important is to find out what works for you and make it a priority to nurture your need for community.

* Like anything else, you need goals and you need to schedule your time for support and community.I am a huge proponent for goals, planning, scheduling. You should be too!

• Decide what you want from writing support.
• Decide how you will contribute.
• Decide when you will seek/participate in this community.
• Decide what works for you.

So when and where do you find writing support and community?