Barely Myself

Why do I want to write so fast? I think it stems from one of my fears. A fear I have that seems ridiculous to others but that I am painfully aware of: I am afraid that I have too much to say or do and that I will not have enough time to do all of it.My writing is no different. I am always much too hasty with writing, with reading, with projects.I know that this doesn’t serve me well. I know that to truly succeed I just need to slow down! I need to understand what I am doing and to study and reflect upon the teachings of others as well as the desires I have. I need to take each task I would like to complete and then be completely ready for it.I want to be a freelance writer 2.0, so I am going to take it slow. I am not going to write as many articles as quickly as I can. I am going to take the time to produce quality articles. I want to write eBooks and I can do that, but I need to take the time to have more experience.I desperately strive to be organized: I can do that too, if I will take the time to start with the foundation of the pyramid. I need to always clarify my mission and my goals.What I really want to do is…I really want to write nonfiction articles and eBooks and I want to write fictional erotic romances. I don’t care that they are separate and very different. They are just what I like! You have to write what you like, and that’s what I like.A brief sidebar to my desire to do it all: I am honestly eighteen years old. I don’t lie about my age, but I don’t pass that fact out either. MH tells me always that I am eighteen, that I need to calm down and just keep going after the things I want.Could that be more true? I need to breathe and just tackle my every objective.I am terribly excited about 2009, and while I know that I will accomplish so much, I am going to slow down. I will want to sit down and make the numbers list, but what it all comes down to is this:

• I will write 1kk (one million) words.
• I will keep my blog as the therapeutic retreat I intended it to be.
• I will read the Bible everyday in my daily Bible and maintain a devotional relationship with my Father.
• I will build article bases at Associated Content, eHow, and Bukisa.
• I will stay active in my chosen writing community at WriYe.
• I will maintain my relationships at Twitter and at my chosen paid writing sites (Associated Content, eHow, Bukisa).
• I will manage my household for the months before MH’s deployment.
• I will survive his deployment, grow our relationship, and stay sane living with my step monster and step thing. (And yes, that would be my step mother and step sister.)
• I will not stress out.
• I will not feel guilty about my lack of speed.

I am ready for 2009. Most of all, I am ready for slowing down.I am also ready (and I hope my readers are as well) to keep this blog to the fullest extent how I intended it to be. I will keep an online record of my musings, an open conversation of my dreams and my progress, and I will be honest with my readers.So c’mon 2009, I am slowing down (but winning the race)!

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